By John BJ Hall
I had gone to bed that night, but I was sure I did not sleep. My heart was filled with tears, and I knew that if I closed my eyes, I would lose control.
I lay there for what seemed like forever, but the sun refused to shine. Surely, it was morning. But why were there no sounds in the street?
I did not want the rooster to crow. I will never forget the last time I heard that sound.
I was standing outside the court. There were people all around. It seemed like everyone in the world was in the courtyard that night, and they were all looking at me.
Why did that servant girl have to speak up like that? Why did I deny that I knew my Lord?!
I had hurt the Lord so much. When they brought Him out, Jesus looked at me. Even so, there was no anger in His eyes. The Lord just seemed to know. It seemed like He understood. But how could anyone understand? I had denied the Lord!
But then came the sound of that rooster, crowing! What an awful sound! I never wanted to hear that sound again. It would just remind me that I had denied the Lord, just as He said I would.
Just days before, I had made such a fool of myself! When Jesus was telling us that He was going to have to die, I told the Lord that I would not let that happen. And yet I stood there unable to say anything for Him or to Him! I denied the Lord - not once or twice, but THREE TIMES!
How could my Lord ever forgive me? I will never forget that night. It has echoed in my heart as long as I have lived.
But there is another time I remembered, too. What a wonderful time it was. Jesus was standing there, right in the middle of the room. We could not believe it at first, but He was there! He was really there!
And do you know what? Jesus did not condemn me! He had really forgiven me. I will never understand why, but Jesus had already forgiven me.
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That is why we know that Jesus can forgive us. He forgave Simon Peter, who was just a little trouble-making stone. The Rock of our salvation forgave Peter! He will do the same thing for us if we ask Him to.
He is alive. He is alive, and I am forgiven.
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